What is your favorite Spring beer?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Tea- Chapter 5


Chapter 5

Miles was on top of the snow-tubing hill with Jabari which marked that event as having happened more times than he cared to remember. Adding the fact that it was the seven a.m. session put into perspective the moods of the two staff members.

”It’s always such a drag to come back to this after a weekend like that,” Jabari commented, sullenly having his way with a cup of Swiss Miss. Even though it was a Saturday everyone at Camp Ontanogan had come to refer to the beginning of the week as ‘weekends’ since that was their time off. “Seven in the morning. Do these people have no sense? It’s freezing out there!”

“It’s the parents, man. The kids always look miserable in the morning. Drumming up childhood memories of their parents dragging them out of bed in the morning, I guess.”

“This is how shit like racism gets a foothold, man. Nobody thinks about what they’re doing.”

“I guess I could relate being forced to guard a frozen hill at dawn to slavery.”

“Well, you know what I’m saying, anyways. People gotta think about what they’re doing sometimes.” That was as political as anyone bothered to get at Camp Ontanogan. It was just too early and cold for scholarly debate.

Everything but the temperature warmed up once breakfast got going. The camp was headlong into its recreation season which meant that the entire staff logged hours the same way Miles and Jabari had that morning; by playing safety cop at the B.B. gun range, the ice rink, and an assortment of other un-technical activities. People dropped in at the activities which meant that sometimes a person was sitting on their hands wishing they had brought a magazine and other times they felt like a carnival worker operating the most popular ride at the fairgrounds.

Those days weren’t as rewarding but they also weren’t as draining as being responsible for the safety and education of a specific group. Everyone finished by nine p.m. at the latest and reinvigorated the lounge at the end of the row of crude cabins the staff was getting used to calling home. Sometimes second dinners were made, drinks and games were mostly a constant, and old tapes made innumerable marches through the battered black V.C.R. that sat in the lopsided and cracked faux-cherry T.V. cabinet.

Miles played absently with Sophie’s dusty gold hair while staring intently at nothing. He was looking forward to the days off with her and not in a rush to do anything. Thirty to forty hours crammed into a three day weekend might sound brutal to someone outside looking in but for a group of twenty-somethings still living to experience life, long weekend hours were more than payment for four day holidays.

Miles and Sophie had done everything their surroundings had to offer. They had eaten at every restaurant, browsed every general store, and explored every borough. They went to the bars when the majority had a notion to go and kept to themselves more often than not. Miles wondered whether or not he should worry about not having anything to do for four days. They had been bounding around to cities more often than not and their location was so rural that deciding to go out for anything more than dinner at a Mom and Pop was a logistical ordeal.

Miles had subscribed to Netflix a few weeks before, which was an online movie service where you could get three DVDs at a time and return them through the mail with no late fees. He and Sophie had been watching a lot of movies, sometimes with Scott and Kyra and sometimes not and generally being anti-social when they were in camp.

It struck Miles as he rambled on in the Jalopy of his mind that he and Sophie were being rather anti-social with one another in that aspect as well. They used to spend evenings staring at one another and talking to hear themselves and one another but lately it seemed as though they were just with one another. Fatigue was not an issue as most everyone felt more energized once they got done working a weekend than any time they were paid to be enthusiastic. Familiarity was the closest conclusion that Miles could come to. Even though he and Sophie had spent every night together since the first time, the entire run of their relationship was only in its second full month. Miles had heard people talk of how time seemed to speed up in situations like his to the point where weeks seemed like months and so on but it was a bit too rapid for his taste. He decided to make a conscious effort to slow things down to where they were when he first became fascinated by the cute English girl he met at the coffee service weeks and weeks ago.

“Hey!” After a quick game of foosball, that was. Jabari’s shout had gotten Miles off the couch and facing off with Emma against their favorite opponents, Jabari and Paul. Paul handed Miles a bottle of Coors and clinked it with his before they started.

The game was chugging on when Miles was surprised by a brush against his shoulder. “I’m going to bed,” Sophie said quietly.

“Um, Ok. I’ll be there in two seconds.” Miles immediately regretted saying this in light of his new revelation. And then the conundrum. Miles didn’t know whether to leave his three partners high and dry or snub his girlfriend to see if he and Emma could come back from three behind to beat Jabari and Paul.

Sophie didn’t wait for his answer. When Miles turned to give a better response, she was gone. His sigh was loud enough to illicit a chortle from Paul and Jabari. They were between goals, so Paul ventured to the fridge and came back double fisting for Miles. He held the bottle out and Miles took it with a shrug and promptly drained half its contents.

“Love, it’s a Motherfucker,” Jabari quoted, in his best ‘Old School’ impersonation. Miles smartly shot his team to within two.

The rest of the night slid rapidly toward debauchery. Miles and Emma lost that first game as well as a second. Afterwards Miles challenged Jabari to a round of darts and gained some dignity back by beating him in that venue. The case of Coors in the fridge put up a valiant effort but ended up a casualty by midnight.

Miles had a feeling that he was in trouble, but in his state that was about all he felt until he crawled into bed. It was uncommonly roomy. He realized what was going on but was too inebriated to think it through. Before he realized it the morning had come.

Slamming a scoop of powdered Gatorade in a clean-ish pint glass helped matters as Miles trundled to the dining hall. He sat unabashedly next to Sophie, who acknowledged him with a roll of the eyes, a faint smirk, and a snort. Miles tried to look as sheepish as he could.

“What? You thought I was going to sleep with you all pissed? Thrashing around? Probably wanting awkward, sloppy sex?” Miles grinned. “Forget it. Maybe I’ll sleep with you tonight. You’ll have to be nice, though. Ditching me to play Foos. I shag you entirely too much, I think.” He could tell she was a bit upset even (especially) since she was trying to play it off.

“I’m all yours tonight.”

“You should be so lucky.” Sophie studied her teacup shaking her head. Miles gave up and ate his Sunday scrambled eggs and bacon.

The leathercraft building was never a fun place to be, but twenty kids and their parents hammering metal stamps into wallets on a tabletop was especially excruciating with even the mildest of hangovers. Miles sat at the money box and smiled like a jester while he took bills in and handed out bits of a cow that probably never imagined its earthly remains would end up with the word “MOM” poorly tamped into them. Kyra was his counterpart in the arts and crafts side of the building but at opening it was too busy to strike up a conversation with her. Miles just stared out the window at the grey skies and scanned the walls full of leather projects that the original salesman must have brought to the camp as samples, such was their flawlessness. There were things on that wall that Miles had never seen in the bins behind him, but inevitably someone would ask for the checkbook case or the armband. Such was life. He could have taken those obsolete items off the wall but someone would probably raise a fuss. They might even be on the Historic Registry, Miles thought with a smirk.

From time to time Miles would have to attend to a missing letter stamp or a lesson on the procedures of the station but for the most part he took money and listened to incessant hammering from nine until noon. He and Kyra walked up to the dining hall when the morning was over for the weekly lunch of school-style pizza and iceberg salad.

After they sent the group off there was a brief meeting where comment cards were read and issues were discussed. Miles was then paired up with Gerri, whom he actually had not hung out with in quite a while, to clean a share of the cabins and program areas used that weekend.

“So how have you been, Miles?” Gerri asked, as the two set off toward their first project with a rickety plastic wheelbarrow full of cleaning supplies.

“Good, good. I think Sophie’s a bit ticked at me for playing foosball and drinking all night, but…”

“Yeah, I saw that,” she laughed. “Other than that? What do you think of all this?”

“I could do without the cleaning, but it’s good. Where else can you have four day weekends, even if they are really during the week?”

“Oh yeah. Do you ever get bored, though?”

“All the time.”

“I’m used to being able to ramble wherever. Here…It’s all snowed in all the time. And there’s no open space anywhere.” Miles nodded, imagining what Texas was probably like. The pair continued trudging uphill until they got to their first cabin. “I don’t think I’ve ever cleaned with you before,” Gerri commented. Miles nodded his agreeance. “I like to get this shit done quick.” Again Miles agreed with her and they set to task. The difference in getting a slow or apathetical cleaning partner was sometimes an hour or more. Miles was glad for Gerri’s comment and they did indeed whip through their two cabins and the BB gun room to clock out at just before four in the afternoon.

Miles didn’t know how long he would have to wait for Sophie, but no one was in his cabin when he got back to it so he used the time to take a decent shower and shave unhurried. As he was finishing up he heard someone push open the door and ducked his head out of the cubicle bathroom. It was Scott. Miles saluted him with his razor and returned to the mirror.

When he finished in the bathroom Sophie had not stopped by the cabin so Miles walked to hers. He found her sipping tea and reading a novel.

“Hey sweetie. You hiding out?” Miles kissed her forehead in greeting.

“No, just reading.”

“Oh. Well, do you want to do something, or would you rather read?” She shrugged without looking at him.

“I don’t care.”

“Um, do you want to be alone?”

“You can stay.” She shifted to one side of her tiny bed. Miles sat next to her and watched her read. When she came to a stopping point Sophie bent the page and laid it on her stomach. Miles leaned over and kissed her cautiously.

“I don’t like not sleeping with you,” he ventured.

“I don’t like it when you get so pissed.”

“Oh.” Miles didn’t know what to say. “Well, I won’t then.”

“Just like that?”

“If it means being with you, then of course. I don’t want to do anything to screw this up.”

Sophie harrumphed. “You just get all stand-offish when you drink. Nothing like you are normally.” Miles nodded. He hadn’t noticed that trait, but wasn’t something like that usually pointed out by a third party anyways? He nodded again.

“Ok.” He slid his arm beneath the small of Sophie’s back and she conformed to his embrace.

“Take a nap with me,” she asked.

“Ok.”

“I missed sleeping with you, too,” Sophie admitted once she had curled into Miles. Before sleep took over Miles counted the day as a success but knew he would have to begin watching himself.

Miles spent the next day earnestly reaffirming his devotion to Sophie. What that devotion amounted to was making sure that neither of them had reason to leave Miles’ cabin for anything the entire morning or afternoon. The timid ness he had felt around her the previous day was still with him, to be sure, and probably served him well. Miles hoped it was only in his mind but it seemed as though Johanna was watching any subtle thing he did during the course of the day and mentally scoring his efforts. Sophie had been the one applying the initial pressure to think about the future in a more tangible fashion and he hoped recent events were not causing her to rethink her convictions of what she probably saw as some kind of life together. When Miles was forced to think about their circumstances he was in favor of the Carpe Diem attitude Sophie seemed to have. Just because he tried not to think about it too much did not mean he did want it, or at least the possibility of it, to disappear. His most pervading though, however, was that two months was too soon to be worried about any of it!

Those thoughts and others cropped up from time to time during their first day off together but for the most part the two could enjoy one another’s company without apprehension. Miles and Sophie had a rare shared talent for being able to talk to one another and not needing third parties such as a television or deck of cards to mediate their time together.

“You are not going to become a professional surfer, Miles.”

“I could do it. It doesn’t look that hard. I just need to learn how to surf. Besides, you’re supposed to be supportive of me.”

“Well, being supportive is one thing. Supporting you while you play on the beach is entirely different. Besides, if you’re going to become a surfer then I’ll just follow you to California and become a lingerie model.”

“There you go. That’s what America’s all about! Chasing your dreams!” Sophie rolled her eyes.

“What brought all this on anyways?”

“Paul’s got a surfing magazine and I was leafing through it in the lounge. They look like they’re having a pretty good time. I guess they just go out and surf with their sponsor’s stickers on their board and if a photographer puts a picture in a magazine with that sticker in it, they get paid by the sponsor.”

Sophie cocked her head for a moment and then rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe we are still having this conversation. Miles, my darling, you know I love you more than the moon-“ She saw him blush and could not resist a confirming kiss- “But you can’t even swim very well, from what you say.”

“Well, I would have to practice, yeah…”

“We need to go make dinner. I’m hungry,” Sophie concluded. Miles agreed and they left their nest to search through their claimed cupboards in the kitchen.

When they arrived it was pretty much a typical scene. Whenever Miles wandered into the kitchen during the afternoon hours he realized how dirty that particular building was. None of the staff quarters were particularly clean because everyone was too exhausted after work to bother picking up and no one wanted to do it on their day off, but the communal space they shared was atrocious. What floor wasn’t carpeted was sticky, and what was carpeted, gritty with sand and gravel from the plow that cleared the camp’s roads. There were so many dishes in the sinks that Miles often contemplated throwing them away and starting from scratch. Packaging from all sorts of snacks and impromptu meals was always scattered about the tables and counters and the fridge was more of a catacomb where you could never be sure if the treasure you were searching for was even among the rubble.

Sophie reached behind her box of Special K and found the set of plates and cutlery she had squirreled away for the two of them. With a look of disdain she cleared enough room in the sink to fit a pot under the spigot for water to boil pasta with. Normally Miles would not have cared one way or the other and just washed whatever dishes he needed but he had no choice but to go along with Sophie in claiming and combining cupboard space and hiding clean dishes.

Paul was lounging on one of the couches watching ‘Jackie Brown’ and eating what looked like a microwave burrito that had jumped on a hot sauce grenade. Paul was one of the main culprits as far as a lack of kitchen hygiene went. Miles had seen Sophie throw the same look at the ignorant slob that she had used on the sink and it reaffirmed his decision to take her side on matters of cleanliness. He tried to calm her with a sweet kiss and a hug around the waist but he could tell it was not going to do any good. Miles realized all the good will he had just spent most of the afternoon re-establishing might all be for naught the longer Sophie spent in the lounge. He suddenly had less-than warm feelings toward Paul. The kicker of it was that he did not think Sophie would mind those feelings.

Miles helped where he could but even he was apprehensive of interrupting Sophie’s methods. He started washing dishes because he needed something to calm the tension he felt watching Sophie scowl and cook.

“What are you doing?”

“I just thought I’d wash these. I’m not doing anything else.”

“Don’t do those. People will start thinking they don’t have to clean up after themselves.” For an immeasurably minute amount of time Miles considered trying to explain his actions further but Sophie’s stare at him was quickly converting into the one she had been using on Paul. Miles dropped the sponge and turned off the water.

“What do you want me to do then?”

“You don’t have to do anything.” Sophie turned back to the stove to stir linguine. Miles stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against the counter. He knew there was something he could be doing but being as the current episode was becoming a regular occurrence he was too exasperated to figure it out.

After what seemed like far too long of an uncomfortable silence save Samuel L. Jackson’s boisterous obscenities dinner was served. Miles was praying someone else would come into the lounge (someone Sophie liked) to ease the awkward triangle of people but that never happened. They ate quietly without a word from Paul. When they were finished Miles washed the dishes and hid them away again, which earned him a hand squeeze from Sophie after she refrigerated the leftovers.

They walked back to Miles’ cabin hand in hand but still in silence. “Do you want to watch a movie?” Miles finally asked once they walked in the door. Sophie nodded.

“I want to take a shower, though. Do you mind?”

“Of course not. Do you want some pajamas?”

“What time is it?”

“Six-Thirty.”

Sophie sighed. “Yeah. Thanks.” She turned to Miles and hugged him. She rested her lips on his neck and they stood static for a moment. Without a word she broke the embrace and went to Miles’ drawers. Sophie picked out her favorite long sleeve T-shirt and pajama pants as Miles smiled at the familiarity of it all and went into the bathroom.

When she came out Miles was already under the covers waiting to push play on the newest movie that had come in the mail. He had done everything he could think of; down to making tea and lighting the favorite candle she had brought weeks ago from her cabin. She smiled at his familiarity and joined him beneath the blankets.

“What are we watching?”

“‘Kicking and Screaming’. Scott suggested it. He’s a huge fan of Parker Posey and she’s in it. I guess it’s about a bunch of kids trying to figure out what to do after college. The parallels are pretty obvious, I suppose.”

“Timely.” Miles pushed play.

As they watched they became more enmeshed in one another and the kitchen incident seemed to fade away as had the drunken foosball tournament from the night before. But although both potential altercations seemed to have been quashed rather anticlimactically, Miles wondered how many of those graces he had left. The wild card was that sometimes Sophie’s brashness had nothing to do with anything Miles did or could even control. Indeed in those very situations it seemed as though anything Miles tried to do to alleviate the situation only made things worse. He sighed and remembered that there were far more good times than rough and to live moment to moment with the whirlwind they had created.

The movie finished barely into the early hour of nine. Neither lover said anything for a long moment as the credits rolled. The key grips were nearly pushed off the screen before Sophie said anything.

“That was pretty good.” Miles nodded. And it had been. “Listen. I don’t mean to get bitchy with you,” Sophie sighed. “It’s little stuff that I shouldn’t get angry about but that makes me even angrier; the fact that it’s no big deal. I mean, you treat me like a princess… No one is ever going to-” Emotion got the best of Sophie and she lost her voice to hitching for a moment. “I love you so much-“ Trying to talk made it worse and she gave in until the tears passed. Miles felt them traipsing in an uncertain meander down his chest. “I just don’t know if I can do this any more.”

That got Miles’ attention in a hurry. “What do you mean?” He felt a lump come into his own throat that he hoped she would abate.

“I don’t know, Miles. If you weren’t…you…I wouldn’t have even been able to go for this long. But I don’t know what you want…Shit, I don’t even know what I want…But I know I can’t do this anymore unless we talk about it. What are we?”

“You know what we are, Sophie. I love you. Why do you think I treat you like a princess? Just to get something from you? You’ve given me everything already. I do it because I love you and you deserve it. Hell, I feel like I should be making up for all the years you never had someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

“I know, Miles, I know.” Now she was kneading his arm with both of her hands to quell nervous energy. “But what? Am I just going to be some girl you loved when you took some time off to see the country? For that rate, I don’t even know if that’s what you are to me. I want you to be more but there are some times when…”

“Those times are what being in a relationship is all about, Sophie. No one is going to be one hundred percent your perfect ideal. It just doesn’t exist. Those clashes…You work them out and there are less and less of them as time goes on. We really hardly know one another as far as time goes…We talk and we know everything about one another you could write in an autobiography or whatever, but there are nuances that we’ll just have to wait for. But that’s what happens. Those are the final pieces of the puzzle.”

“So do you want to finish the puzzle or just put enough of it together to see what the picture looks like?” Sophie looked into Miles’ eyes with a seriousness he had never seen in hers or anyone else’s. She wanted an answer to her question and she wanted…

“I want to finish it.” Miles realized; more to himself than Sophie. Then he realized something else. “But I want you there. I mean, what I just saw in your eyes…That has to be there. That’s what I love most about you.” The bulbs were flashing one after the other for Miles that night. “That…passion. That you love me enough to not just let things slip away. That you confront me. It’s so hard for me when you do, but nobody else does that. It’s…you.”

“So…You know what staying with me means.”

‘I have an idea.”

“It means one of us gets a green card. Which means one of us gets married. Preferably to the other one. Because Scott’s a cool guy and all, but I don’t think Kyra would put up with it even if it was just for legal purposes.”

“That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard, Sophie Harrison. Was that a proposal?” She stared at him from the corners of her eyes for as long as she could without smiling. “If it was, what would you say?”

“Well, if it was, I suppose I would accept. If it was.”

“That’s good to know. Just in case, I mean.”

“Right.” Miles rolled over onto Sophie to smother her giggles. After a bout of kissing she regained composure.

“You would really?” Miles saw the question in Sophie’s eyes even more than he heard it coming from her lips.

“Yeah. Yeah, Sophie, I would.” She searched his eyes for reassurance and then began making love to him almost before he realized it.

They realized it was time to wake up when the chickadees were too much for them to ignore.

“Did you sleep okay?” Miles asked. Sophie giggled.

“Yeah…Why? We’ve slept together a hundred times; you never asked me that one.” Miles shrugged. “Are you feeling more protective of me, Miles Drake?” Miles grunted.

“Well if you’re going to be like that about it…”

“Sorry, Sorry. Nervousness, my love. Wow. I’m nervous around you. I haven’t felt that since the first time we had tea together.”

“The first time?”

“You were cute. Anyways, it was a sweet question. I love you, you know.”

“I know. I love you, too.” Miles found himself liking the idea that he still had something in him that would make Sophie nervous. “I don’t want to leave this room,” he sighed reluctantly.

“Well…We can at least make tea and get something warm in us before we go. Sophie shrugged off the covers after a binding kiss. She had lost her (his) clothes during the night, Miles saw as she went to the hotplate. He sighed and admired the realness of her. Sophie wasn’t like one of those tarted-up women in magazines or on billboards but Miles had never been with one of those women. He had been with Sophie. He had felt her body and her touch and the love he felt for her was real. That made her the realization of every daydream he had ever had.

Miles pushed the sap aside as Sophie scurried back under the comforter; her feet finally having sent the message to her brain that it was cold even inside the cabin they shared. He whispered a ‘thanks’ while she shivered and they waited for the pot to boil.

Miles took his turn, also naked, and brought steeping mugs back to the bookshelf beside the bed that doubled as a nightstand. When the water and tea came to an agreement of temperature and flavor they were separated and the jaybirds slowly sipped the results. The looks they shared were at the same time shy and knowing. They were old friends staring a new craft together; school kids kissing under a magnolia tree for the first time. And they couldn’t be happier for it.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Tea - Chapter Four

Chapter 4

It was late night, in the middle of the fleeting three hours Miles and Sophie spent together at the end of each day they worked. They were in a usual state of affairs sitting on Miles= bed with arms wrapped around one another, nothing else going on and neither caring that it didn’t=t.

AHow did your day go?@ Miles asked. He spoke in a soft tone from directly behind her ear. Sophie nuzzled higher so that his lips brushed that ear.

AArduous. I had some real brats today. I couldn’t=t keep their attention for the life of me.@

AWell, two more days and we=ll be trotting in a carriage through New York City sharing a bottle of wine without a care in the world.@ The next stretch of days the group had free marked one month that they had been together. Everyone had separated to do their own things on the past few vacations but the very nature of their work environment kept them tightly knit. New York had become a reality thanks mostly to Scott and Kyra, once again. The situation was nearly the same as it had been in Boston but there was a different feeling about it at least as far as Miles and Sophie were concerned. Especially Sophie. They had spent their free time almost exclusively with one another, doing nothing extravagant but growing more deeply entwined with one another by the day.

The gravity of their relationship had hit Sophie the hardest, who was ironically the less grounded of the two at the onset. She visibly relished every moment they spent together. It was the reason why, even though everyone else was sleeping to rally for the next fourteen hour day, Miles and Sophie stayed as conscious as they could. The novelty of their jobs had worn off by then and real personalities had begun to show. Most everyone enjoyed what they were doing, but the times of excessive niceties had passed and everyone had begun to slip into regular patterns.


The two lovers realized what was unfolding and reveled in the fact that even though every one of the people they worked with, themselves included, were done putting on a show they grew more attached to one another by the day. And the days were long. Miles and Sophie stayed awake far longer than anyone else and had on several occasions seen the sun come up twice in a row without nodding off. Miles envied Scott and Kyra sometimes in the fact that their relationship seemed solid; something those two were used to and seemed to make no special effort at keeping up.

At the same time, the newness and intensity of Miles’ and Sophie’s relationship was something few couples had ever experienced and Miles was glad to have such an experience. He quieted the warring feelings by wrapping himself closer to Sophie, who sighed in return. Miles could sense she was almost asleep. The toils, both physical and mental, of the long days were catching up to her. Miles had worked in every trade from roofing to administration and was used to demands being made on his body. Sophie was not. Knowing that they both needed to sleep, he let himself slide onto the mattress, carrying Sophie with him. They were asleep before another word could be said.

After a month of intense work everyone at the camp realized the value of even a single day of sleeping in and decided not to leave for New York before noon on the first day off. Naturally everyone was bright-eyed by ten in the morning, because even that was four-hour hour extension from what they were used to. Miles was packing for the usual cargo of himself, Sophie, and Emma. It was cold, but not bitter, and had not snowed in several days. The white carpet surrounding their cabins had become littered with ever-falling pine needles that created a soft contrast to the harsh white glare.

Miles watched Sophie bound down the steps of her cabin and almost run to his Jeep. They had often fantasized about leaving the camp entirely and spending the remainder of their time together far away from everything else but three day excursions were the closest things they had, realistically. Sophie cared nothing for formalities when she was on her own time and greeted Miles with a flourishing kiss and did not loosen her grip around his waist as she withdrew.


ASleep well?@ Miles chuckled. He took one last look at the humble cabin he lived in with its peeling brown paint and charmingly sagged steps to try to remember any loose ends. Satisfied after that quick glance he latched the hatch of his Jeep and kissed Sophie again for good measure. They saw four other vehicles rearing to go and joined them in a caravan to the Big Apple.

AYou promised me romance, Miles Drake.@ Sophie chided. They had just arrived at their hotel room and had not as yet unpacked.

AAnticipation is a killer, isn=t it?@ He snickered in reply. Everyone else was scattered throughout the two connected rooms but Miles and Sophie had their conversation oblivious to the others. John Mayer was playing unobtrusively in the background to provide a soundtrack for the circumstances. The scene was completely different from the one a month before. The excitable bunch of new friends that plunged into the Boston club scene was now a reserved group taking their time in everything; lounging in the extravagance of three days of nothing. Miles and Sophie had been initially worried about being able to slip away but they saw in everyone=s nonchalant attitude that it would not be a problem.

AMy darling, a romantic weekend I promised you and a romantic weekend you shall have. As soon as I have a drink.@ He mixed three gin and tonics in cheap clear plastic hotel cups for himself, Sophie, and Jabari. There was no hot tub this time around, and even though Jabari insisted it was a must for the next time he was making himself comfortable with Emma on one of the couches. Jabari and Emma=s was a plutonic affair; akin to a brother-sister relationship. Who knew how a jock from Lansing and a clubbing English girl got together, but they did. There was a small bar down at the pool and hot tub area on the first floor that some people said they wouldn’t mind checking out.

Miles and Sophie took their time with their drinks like everyone else was doing while Scott and Paul planned the best attack route. They were in New York City, after all.


AWe=ve hardly said a word to one another in the past week, you know.@ She commented between sips.

AI know. I hate that it=s happening.@

AGetting used to the long hours has been better, though. I=m starting to be able to keep up with you.@ Sophie smiled a sad little smile and finally looked at him. AI just don=t want to drift apart like other people seem to be.@

AWell, we=re our own clique. I would tell you not to worry but I know it wouldn’t=t do any good.@

AHhmm.@

ALet=s finish these and go for a walk.@

ALet=s take them with us.@ Miles nodded and followed her. No one said anything as they walked out the door together; it was becoming an expected practice with them. That was another thing that was also causing a bit of tension between Miles, Sophie, and the rest of the group. They didn’t=t want to be seen as ditching everyone else but desperate times called for... It was hardly worth contending the necessity, anyways.

So the two lovers walked through the red-hued hotel and out into the street absently swirling half-empty cups of gin. They had become so accustomed to silence after work days that they didn’t=t start a conversation until they were a block from the hotel.

AFive months.@ Sophie finally said.

AYour visa=s for nine. Come back to Chicago with me.@

AOf course. I want to travel, though, too. Who knows when I=ll be back here again?@ Miles shook his head. Sophie had a none-too subtle way of letting him know what she was driving at.

AWe can do anything you want, Sophie. Do you think I=m just going to forget about you or let you go after all this? Look at how far one month has brought us.@

ATrue, our situation is pretty intense.@


AIn a round-about way we spend more time together that most any couples.@ Miles finished his drink and discarded it as he passed a waste basket. He put his newly freed arm around Sophie=s waist without losing stride. ASometimes I wish things weren’t like they were. But sometimes I=m really glad for it too. Who knows if all this would have happened if you were a foreign exchange student at my school or something?@ She nodded. AWe don=t know what=s going to happen, so why worry about it? It doesn’t=t mean I don=t think about it. I have, from every possible angle, but don=t stress over it. That=ll just cast a shadow over what we have left.@

AEvery possible angle?@ Miles knew exactly what Sophie meant but wouldn’t indulge her. They had done everything but openly discuss the most cementing solution and Miles wasn=t open to it then. He simply nodded and continued. AThe bottom line is that we don=t have to think about anything so involved for at least five months. So let=s pretend nothing is going on for at least a couple and act like two people who arecrazy in love and have it be enough to go on.@

AIt=s hard to do, though, Miles. I wish it weren’t, but... I think about it all the time. Sometimes it gets to a point that I don=t even want to see you because I don=t want to think about it. It=s no way to be, darling.@

AI wish I could say something to make it all go away. All I can tell you is that I think about all the same things. I=m not ignoring it or leaving you in the cold to fend for yourself. But I want you more than a plan of action or a headache. I want every memory I have of you to bring a tear to my eye. And I want you to be there when I remember those moments. But right now I need the moments more than a long range goal. Means to the end, or whatever.@

AI know what you mean. I like the moments, too. They make it all worth it.@ Sophie clung to him a bit tighter, both of them realizing they were stuck in a moment. They walked in silence, thinking more than they needed to or should have been.

By the time they made it back to the hotel they were much more relaxed and ready to tackle the city with the rest of the crew. They caught up quickly with everyone who had been sitting around drinking before hitting the streets once again to soak in the nightlife.

New York, above all other cities, is a city in which night life was in no short supply. The streets themselves seemed to be a party with so many different and sometimes unique individuals. The group stayed together that night and stuck to the sidewalks that seemed to be thoroughfares. Even on those most used patches of cement there was enough happening to keep a group of kids who had spent a month in the woods excited.

Miles made a conscious effort, once they found the first club, to not stay moored to a table with Sophie. Outside of Scott and Kyra he got on best with Jabari. The two put an arm around one another’s shoulder and put down a shot of tequila before anything got started. Miles saw Sophie shake her head with the smile of a person who has give up on training their puppy. On the way to the dance floor he grabbed her for a spin.

“Don’t worry, love. Won’t get too crazy tonight. Have to start things off, right?”

“Oh, you do whatever you want, hon.” Miles saw through that ruse better than a scuba diver in an inflatable backyard pool. He kissed her cheek and pretended to pout. They dance for a bit longer than Miles and his new mantra of socialization had intended but that was all right.

Soon enough (When Sophie and Emma made for the lady’s room) he found himself at the bar with Jabari and Paul.

“She not letting you drink tonight, chief?” Sometimes Paul got on Miles’ nerves.

“No, man, It’s not like that, come on, now.” When Miles saw the usually neutral Jabari rolling his eyes to the ceiling, however, he started thinking. Thinking and tequila do not mix. “All right, fuck it. We’re in New York City, right? Let’s do a double tequila. You guys all right with that?”

“There he is!” Jabari turned his back to the bar and yelled the phrase again in the general direction of the most Ontanogan folks. By the time he turned back around Miles had procured the shots and was lining them up. The trio clinked glasses and Miles found himself very happy he had ordered top-shelf tequila.

“There you go. Now, I’m going to go dance with my girl so she doesn’t start associating me with schlubs like you, eh?” Jabari patted him on the back and pushed him toward the group table.

“Having fun?” Sophie asked once Miles made it back.

“Yes, yes. Just reasserting my Alpha status.

“Yeah, I think that’s the same way all those indigenous tribes do it on the Discovery channel.”

“Oh, you saw that, huh?” She nodded.

“Well, three shots of tequila in one night are quite enough for me. Just don’t tell them that.” He motioned toward the bar where Jabari and Paul were working on fresh beers.

“Don’t worry,” Sophie said, kissing his cheek, “I’ll keep letting them think you’re all man.”

“Thanks.”

“Sure. I definitely will not tell them about those flowers you picked for me and left on my pillow last Wednesday. Or the sweet poem you left in my jacket at lunch last Saturday.”

Miles’ face turned Kool-Aid red. He wanted to blame it on tequila. “I swear. You always get me confused with your other boyfriends.”

“Dance with me.”

“Ok. But I’m considering this blackmail.”

“What? I didn’t even mention your nickname for me.” The tropical punch splashed back across Miles’ face for a moment.

“Well, I could get in a good story with the guys about that thing you do with your tongue.”

“Hmm Hmm,” she smiled, “You tell them that story and you’ll never feel me do that with my tongue again.” Sophie hadn’t missed a beat. Miles knew he had been upped and followed Sophie to the dance floor in silence.


AI want you to tell me that everything=s going to be fine.@ Sophie said, sitting against the headboard of the bed she and Miles shared while everyone slept off the night. The booze had long since worn off and delirious fatigue was setting in.

AI can tell you that I=ll do whatever it takes. It seems so pretentious to say something like that after one month, but fuck it. I=m saying it. I love you. That=s really all I need right now.@

ANeed right now? We=re not sweet sixteen anymore, Miles. I love you, too. But love isn=t going to change the fact that we=re going to have to do something about it. I want to know if you=re willing to deal with the situation.@

AI told you I=d do whatever it takes. But right now what we have takes nothing. That=s what=s so great about it. It=s a natural, comfortable thing. It just happened. Until it becomes something else I=d rather give myself to that ease. I want you not to worry about it because you=re starting to make it all about the future instead of the present. There would be no future without the present.@

AYou=re getting too philosophical, Miles. Just... Just be my lover tonight.@ Though her tone was one of resignment Sophie slid from the headboard to the pillows drawing Miles into the nest.

AThat=s perfect, Sophie. You=re...You=re perfect.@

ABollocks.@


Morning grey crept into the crowded room to reach Sophie=s face and then Miles=, waking the pair up before anyone else stirred. They looked at one another in unexpected alertness and tiptoed out of the room. They knew from past experience that they had a good three hours before anyone else even thought about greeting the day and wanted to take full advantage of that grace. The two didn’t=t even pretend at conversation as they walked hand in hand down the street. They had no destination; no plan. Simply walking together, where no one knew them or cared to know them was enough. They were like anyone else in the crowded streets of New York. There were no raised eyebrows, no knowing glances, no obvious efforts of courteous avoidance. They were as they should be. Miles smiled at the sense of purpose Sophie exuded because he knew that a lack of it was the only purpose they had. The two wanted nothing and in the early morning among thousands of strangers they found it.

The first words Sophie spoke were in sight of a coffee shop. ALet=s get a drink.@ They didn’t=t stay in the shop; what was happening for them outside was too needed to be ignored and so with coffee in tow they continued.

The rest of the morning continued without a word. The air warmed and more people crowded the sidewalks as New York came alive around Miles and Sophie. It was almost disheartening to see their hotel looming in their sight once again. Miles looked at his watch just to make sure, but it read eleven o=clock.

ASophie, Wait.@ She turned, halfway up the steps of the hotel. She cocked her head in perplexion . Miles stepped up to her and kissed her with all the gusto of a sailor returning home from sea. AI love you.@

>No matter what.@

Miles nodded. ANo matter what.@ They drifted up the stairs and through the lobby and elevator to their room. Everyone was still asleep and it left them wondering how much longer they might have had together out in the city. That question was answered when Emma and Paul stirred ten minutes later just as Miles and Sophie were finishing their coffee.

ADid you guys make that?@ A voice asked weakly from a sleeping bag on the worn floor.

ANo, but there=s a coffee pot in the bathroom.@

AExcellent.@ A nappy haired Paul rolled out of his makeshift bed and clomped into the bathroom. Sophie sighed and moved her chair at the corner tiny table closer so that she could lean against Miles= propped up knees. He smiled a knowing smile and left it at that. The day had begun.


When everyone got up they went to breakfast to spend more time reliving events from the previous night than eating. Miles tried not to stare at Sophie throughout the meal but something in her eyes made him smile. Sophie knew it and wouldn’t=t let him by with only a fleeting glance. Something in the honesty and intensity of those subtle looks made her blush as though they=d never even spoken to one another. It was a feeling of newness mingled with familiarity that she found exhilarating.

They spent the rest of the morning in the museum of natural history breezing past skeletons and elaborate interpretive displays. Sophie loved museums and could have easily spent the duration of their trip in them. Miles hovered beside her as she went gracefully from room to room soaking everything in.

AI=m in the greatest city in America, and all I can do is think of you.@ She sighed, pulling his arm across her stomach as they stared at a Georgia O= Keefe painting.

AI=ll take that as a compliment.@ Miles kissed her collarbone and she answered with a sigh. They continued walking around the rooms like something out of a movie until they realized that they were not running into anyone else.

The others were waiting for them in the little café on the main floor of the museum. It looked as though everyone had intended to eat something but found the fare to be on the expensive side.

AYou guys should have come and got us,@ Miles tried. Paul shrugged and Miles realized everyone was so happy to be out of camp that it almost didn’t=t matter what they did.

The group ousted themselves from the wrought-iron chairs and walked along until they found a more wallet-friendly Subway where they planned a strategy for the rest of their only full day in New York City.

AThe tourist thing is always a good option. Times Square, The Statue of Liberty, Twin Towers, all that,@ Scott suggested.

ASome of that can get pretty pricey, though, Paul countered. AI heard they charge a bunch to get to the top of that statue.” Camp salaries made pre-planning luxuries a necessity.

AWe could kill a lot of time wandering around Times Square,@ Miles added. The foreigners simply watched the day unfold for them, happy to be seeing anything, let alone in the greatest city the country had to offer.

In the end smaller groups were formed because most everyone wanted to do something that would cost some money but it wouldn’t have been fair to drag everyone to an art museum when only three people really wanted to go.

As a matter of course Sophie and Miles made the beginnings of a group that also included Scott and Kyra since they were all interested in seeing things that weren’t in the top ten tourist suggestions whereas most of the foreigners were. Jabari and Paul took the rest of the carless into their custody to see Ellis Island and Yankee Stadium and the like. With everybody satisfied the hotel room was evacuated for the day.

The double-dating group’s day consisted of stops at The Smithsonian and Fifth Avenue among others all taken in at a leisurely pace. They knew that there were things that would be missed but most of their day to day activities were so prone to bustle that laxness was as important a draw as anything. The quartet purposely made no plans and in doing so had no deadlines. They decided their day was done after a semi-romantic dinner and ended up back at their room well before dark and the other group.

“We should watch a movie,” Scott suggested. It was yet another activity that none of them had found the time for in weeks and it was agreed upon. For $9.95 a new-to-them film was ordered up and they stretched out at a pair to a bed to continue the theme of their vacation.

“Oh, that was so much fun,” Sophie cooed, stealing another moment from the sleep that wanted to claim them both after the drive back from New York City.

“Doing nothing was perfect,” Miles agreed.

“I don’t think I want to do anything like that for a little while. In a lot of ways it’s more tiring than work with the travel and the excitement and all.” Miles nodded agreement.

“Well, we don’t have to if you don’t want to. We’ve got a lot of time to do with what we will yet.”

It was the truth. February was barely making itself known then and there were four months of the same circumstances after the shortest dance of the calendar. Wandering the streets of New York was nice in a Freewheeling Bob Dylan sort of a way which Miles supposed was the main reason anybody went on those sorts of adventures in the first place. Staying home watching rented movies with nothing else on the horizon was also nice, though not in any blatantly romantic way as far as Miles knew.

Eventually the uncoupleable couple fell asleep. It did not happen in one another’s arms as an ignorant romantic would have you believe from the books and movies but unmistakable as love just the same. The two had grown used to sharing a rickety twin bed with another pair doing the same barely two yards away and had grown quite adept at finding the cool part of the sheets.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Tea - Chapter Three

Here's chapter three! As always, scroll down or look in the archives for previous chapters!

Chapter 3

AWell, how was it?@ Sophie asked when Miles answered his door. It was well past dark, nine o=clock to be precise, after the first day with the first group of the winter season. Miles was alone in the room while Scott was with Kyra in her cabin.

AIt went well. Come in. I was just about to make tea.@ She smiled and held out her hand. He led her inside in their joking but intimately private way. AHow did your day go?@

ANot bad. We did all the activities in orientation that we do for the kids. Pretty simple stuff. But fun. They=re a bit hyper, but I guess that=s to be expected. Your day must have been more interesting than mine, though.@ While Sophie was talking Miles set water to boil on Scott=s hotplate then sat on his bed with her; Indian style as they had before. He leaned backwards to turn the massive overhead florescent light out, leaving only his table lamp, a glow more than accommodating to a twenty by twenty foot room and their mood.

AWe did animal tracking today. Five groups of a dozen, probably like you had. It was pretty fun, actually. I set out a bunch of fake tracks and we ran around the woods trying to identify them. Kids seemed to have fun. Orienteering is tomorrow. Should be a little more challenging.@

AThere are a bunch of new activities we haven=t tried out yet that we=re doing tomorrow. Though once you have three or four down the rest tend to follow suit.@

AYeah. They probably gave you the easy ones because you=re foreign and all.@ Miles smiled.

AI=ll give you foreign!@ Sophie fell over on him, pushing his chest down with her hands. She kissed him in a stark contrast of gentleness before telling him his water was boiling. He grinned and squirmed out from under her.

Miles walked behind Sophie with a mug and floated it in front of her. She took it and he moved his hands to her shoulders in a massage. She had to put the mug down before she buckled.


AIf you keep doing that, I=m going to fall asleep.@

ASo sleep here.@

AI can=t do that. What about Scott?@

AHe=s in the same situation with Kyra, Love.@- a word he=d picked up from her- AUnless we=re screaming in ecstasy, I don=t think he=d have a problem. I wouldn’t=t care if Kyra slept here.@

AIt just seems like an intrusion.@ He continued to rub and her posture continued to sag under his hands. Sophie could do nothing but give in. AOne night. And if Scott says anything, it will be the last here, do you understand?@ She turned to face him then. Miles nodded and smiled. AOk then. Let=s drink this tea. I=m a bit peaked.@ They drank, all the while stealing glimpses at one another like they had done the night in the hotel room. The glances were the guilty but gleeful looks of children sharing a wonderful and outlawed secret with one another.

A twin bed was not the most luxurious of nests but they made it work. Sophie clung to Miles; resigning herself to fatigue when finally in his arms. Miles held out just a moment longer listening to her breathing and feeling the slow and steady rising and falling of her chest against his before succumbing himself.

AOk, Everyone. Say hi to Fred!@ It was nine in the morning on day two of the Boy Scout group and Miles was beginning a day of compass work along with Christopher. They were an odd pair in that Christopher had no idea how to use a compass before Miles had taught him a few days before the program began. Christopher had picked up what he needed to know quickly but let Miles do most of the talking because of his weaker grasp of the English language. Miles plunged into an explanation of the working of a compass for the eight or nine rosy cheeked boys sitting in a half-circle in front of him soaking in the heat from a fire between them.


Miles had found that the days were extremely long, beginning at eight and ending just before nine. There was little time for anything recreational after a day like that. The night before he had been awake less than an hour after leaving >work= for the day. Scott hadn=t said anything about Sophie spending the night that morning but Miles still felt obliged to talk to him about it at some point during the day. There were usually four days off between each stretch of programs and Miles and Sophie had more or less decided that the majority of that time would revolve around them spending time with one another, hopefully exclusively. Miles felt disappointed in having to slink away from the rest of his new friends in such a way but the reality of their situation was that literally every second counted for them. The two were staring at a finite span of time as it stood for the moment.

Miles was thinking through those things as he explained how to take a bearing to a group of kids that wanted nothing more than to not be sitting. He obliged them as quickly as he could by herding them out into the snow as soon as possible. He sent them out in two groups with a pencil and a piece of paper to make a map for the other group to follow. It was then that he and Christopher could relax for ten minutes by the fire in the pavilion.

ASo what do you think so far?@ Miles asked Christopher. They were both displaying terrible posture against a picnic table facing the flames.

AIt=s good. Cold, cold. But good otherwise.@

AHow=s Jabari doing with the sports?@

AOh, he has a good time, I think. He=s tired at the end of the day from always moving, but it=s a good tired, I think.@ Miles nodded.

AWe=ll have to go to New York City one of these times. It=s the poster child for the States.@ Christopher looked at him quizzically. AUm, the... best example of America=s...best.@ He nodded.

AI think I would like to see that.@


AWell, we=ll have to talk to Jabari and Scott. They=re good at getting those things together.@ Christopher nodded. They soon heard the pitter-patter of little feet behind them and turned to greet the young cartographers. After a few minutes of letting the kids warm themselves Miles made the two groups trade their maps and sent them back outside to try to follow the other team=s route. It afforded the Miles and Christopher another ten minutes alone at the fire.

ADo you get much time with Sophie?@ Christopher asked, starting off their conversation. Miles had to remember that even though Christopher had a childlike handle on English it didn’t=t mean he was any less perceptive than anyone else.

ANot now, with groups here. But we=d like to spend a lot of time together when we=re not working.@ Christopher nodded.

AI think that it would be strange for me, your romance.@ Miles smiled at his choice of words and threw a pair of birch logs on their fire before answering.

AIt is, it is. Worth it, I think. But it is. It wasn=t planned, that=s for sure.@ Christopher shrugged.

AYou never know what is going to happen to you.@

AYou are right about that, my friend.@ The statement, simple as it was, put Miles in a reflective mood once again. Watching the flames dance memorizingly in front of him providing the only warmth they had only furthered the situation. Not much was said until the scouts came back for a wrap-up.

So it went, group after group, five times over. Toward the end of the day even Christopher was becoming comfortable with their repertoire. They both waited patiently for the golden hour; that space of time after work everyone got together for a few moments in the lounge to unwind before retiring to the cabins.

Sophie had a beer waiting for him, which he graciously accepted, knowing it would be the fatal blow to unconsciousness. In spite of the exhausted bodies there was an aura of satisfaction in the room from a full day of doing a job well for the benefit of their charges. The activities had changed, however. Everyone was being lulled by a cowboy movie on the television rather than cooking or playing darts and other games. Before he forgot, Miles mentioned the idea of a trip to New York to everyone.


ANot right away, but sometime. It=s a bit more travel, but I think it would be worth it.@ Everyone sleepily agreed and promptly put it to the back burner. Opposite of what should have happened, the beer Miles drank actually rejuvenated him a bit. He was sure it was mostly due to his body getting any kind of liquid after being subjected to the moisture-stealing winds of January since early morning. Sophie, however, curled warmly in his arms on the couch negated any ideas of activity. He was left with an extension on waking hours he felt fortunate to have and be sharing with not only Sophie but everyone in the room.

ADid you talk to Scott today?@ She whispered. Already her mind wandered to slumber.

ANo. But it=s really cold all alone in the dark.@

AYou...hhmm. You. Well, tomorrow, then. You=ve one more night of reprieve.@ She kissed the crook of his arm heavily. He noticed her breath betrayed that she hadn=t had as much water as she should have had that day. He tried to remember to make a point of it for both of them. So much of the body=s nuances relied on that precious balance of liquid! Such a small loss of it meant so much more slowed physical and mental reactions. The overly refreshing beer attested to the fact.

Miles shook his mind free of its wanderings and realized that he couldn’t=t concentrate on the movie, either. T.V. had never been his things. He was completely lost when it came to people=s fascination with video games. Nonetheless they sat and watched until the credits rolled. No one bothered to turn on the lights other than the one above the stove, which was always left on. The boys clapped one another on the back and wished each other luck for the morning before branching off like tributaries of a river to their cabins.

Miles and Sophie noticed that Scott and Kyra were still walking arm in arm as they were four paces behind them. Once they went past her cabin it was apparent that Scott had taken Mile=s gambit as statute, which was perfectly fine with him. They stepped into the cabin with just enough time to turn the lights on before Scott and Kyra entered.

ALooks like Emma and Jenny will have it pretty good,@ Miles ventured, breaking the ice.


>I suppose. We just have to watch out.@ Scott addressed them all then. AWe worked at a YMCA a few summers ago and they definitely frowned on this. Grounds for dismissal. May not be as serious being as there=s not a steady stream of kids, but still...@ Sophie and Miles nodded. ABut hey. Don=t ask, don=t tell. I don=t think anyone else cares.@ They had to admit that. Everyone they worked with was of like mind, an intriguing rarity since they came from all ends of the earth together in one place.

Sophie was already lying in bed by the time Miles got done with his inward rambles. Her position made it obvious where he was supposed to join her. She was on the inside of the bed against the wall facing the middle of the room slightly curled to gain warmth he wasn=t yet providing. Miles filled the space she left in short order. He felt her conform to his back like a living comforter and reached for her hands. She closed her fingers around his and let Miles bring them to his chest. Scott or Kyra turned the light out and there was nothing until morning.

The air of excitement in everyone at breakfast the next day was due to the prospect of four entire days of freedom waiting for them at the end of the day. It was Sunday, meaning their scouts left around two in the afternoon. There would be a debriefing and minor housekeeping of the Boy Scout cabins which was expected to drag on but not as long as the first two days full of programs had. The excitement also came from the fact that the first weekend that had brought the formerly un-intact group together had been successful in their eyes. There was a difference in the promise of a break because it felt earned and well deserved. The faces betrayed signs of weariness but the eyes and mouths glowed with accomplishment.


Miles was looking forward to an easy day. The groups would be four times their normal size that morning but he and Christopher had planned for it. They would build shelters in the field they had been based out of for the weekend with groups of a dozen. >What kid didn’t=t like to build forts in the winter?= They reasoned. He smiled with the thought as he poured a bowl of Wheaties and plucked a banana from the fruit table. He was also happy with the fact that he and Sophie could sleep with one another whenever they wanted. It wasn=t much in any normal situation, but the fact that otherwise they would only see one another for about an hour a day brought to light the fact that every moment counted.

A small sigh escaped Miles when he sat at a table of kids as he was taught to do. He could see Sophie across the room laughing with her table. He couldn’t=t hear the sounds and that in itself made him think over her. >I hope you know what you=re doing, my darling.= He watched her head rock back and forward with laughter and repeated his first thought. He wondered what would happen if it reached the point where he would do anything for her. Even more frightening was the idea that he would never do anything without her. It had never happened to him but he knew it was a possibility. Inevitably it happened to everyone to some degree or another. At twenty-two Miles wondered if maybe he had ducked it for as long as he could.

He shook the thought from his head. Too early for that kind of nonsense. Besides, there was work to be done.

They got to it immediately after eating. Miles found Christopher and they headed out into the morning tromping towards the pavilion to start a fire. The kids could be heard clamoring down the path a half-hour later just as Miles was getting a useful fire going. There was little talking needed to explain building forts, so after a few token outdoor-skill related gems the scouts were divided and sent out. Instead of appreciating their fire Christopher and Miles wandered from group to group helping with the projects. Most made teepee or lean-to structures, that being the fastest way to see progress. The sessions all went fast thanks to the activity and soon everyone was back in the cafeteria for lunch.

AAre we getting together tonight?@ Sophie asked, sneaking beside Miles in the line at the salad bar. She knew the answer, of course. It was all becoming a game played simply because they could.


AI wouldn’t=t have it any other way,@ he replied. She slipped her pinky across his coyly.

AI can=t wait.@ Simple, honest. Exactly right for her.

The rest of the day was a long time leaving. A lone session after lunch and help carting the kids to buses gave way to an hour of debriefing full of sandwich criticism, which was a couple of good comments about something sandwiching what the full timers really meant to bring up. The effort was well intended but transparent to anyone with experience. After a bit of cleaning cabins all was said and done and the crew was on their way before four o=clock.

Sophie, Miles and Scott ended up back at their cabin straight after the debriefing. Sophie ducked into the bathroom immediately, giving Miles and Scott a chance to catch up.

ASo what have you got planned for the rest of this week?@ Miles asked after putting on a U2 disc and shedding his jacket.

AWe=re going south a bit. Head to the coast. Get somewhere warmer. Four days off; I=m not going to sit here. What are you doing?@

ASitting here,@ he smiled.@I can=t handle too much running around. Last week will last me for a while. Paul mentioned something about finding a micro brewery that=s around here and a few other places. We might go check those out. See what this area=s got to offer.@ Scott nodded.

AWell, I think I=m going to go down to the lounge, see what=s shaking. I=ve got to get something to eat, so...@

AYeah. We=ll probably be down there shortly. I=m feeling the same way.@ Sophie came out of the bathroom just in time to say goodbye to Scott as he headed out. She smiled slyly as she shuffled to Miles= bed to sit beside him.

AHow are you, beautiful?@ He kissed her hair when her head fell on his shoulder.

AI=m good. What do you want to do tonight?@

ADo you want to go on a date? Find a nice place for dinner?@ She nodded as best she could with her head on his arm.

AYou=re wonderful.@


AYou=re tired.@

AGive me a couple minutes.@ Sophie pushed him onto the bed and curled up. Needless to say a couple of minutes had turned into a couple of hours the next time Miles opened his eyes. He could see night outside the window. The alarm clock glowed with a reading of twenty minutes to seven.

ASophie?@

AYeah?@

You=re awake.@

AI=ve been up for a little while. I was letting you sleep.@ They got up slowly, hunger being the only driving factor for leaving the warmth of the cabin.

APaul said there are a couple places in town that look promising.@ They were arm in arm walking down the cabin road towards the parking lot and Mile=s car. AWe shouldn=t be sleeping on our time away, though.@ It was a lighthearted jest.

AI liked listening to you sleep. Sappy, huh?@ The air was waking them both up by then. Miles nodded, realizing he agreed. AWell, you=re a guy. But girls like that sort of thing.@

AI=m glad I could give you that, then. He clicked a button on his key chain when they were close enough that brought the jeep to life. They shivered all the way into town, about three miles down the road leading to the camp. The first restaurant they came to looked fine to both of them so they pulled in. It was a big log building boasting a special of beef tips in gravy on a cheap illuminated letter board. They hustled inside and sat at a table.

AHmm.@ Miles noted after opening his menu. ACare for a bottle of wine?@ Sophie nodded. AWhy not. We have four days of nothing.@

ANothing except each other.@

AYou=re such a girl.@ He joked. His reaching hand found hers, still cold from the ride. AWe=ll sleep in and I=ll make you breakfast. How does that sound for a start?@

AThat sounds perfect, Miles.@


AScott and Kyra are leaving tomorrow morning for the coast, so we have the place to ourselves. No hurry this weekend.@ She nodded. The waitress made her way over and Miles ordered their Merlot. Soon they were warming back up with the help of the drinks and finding their voices.

ASo, What=s going to happen when you get your master=s degree?@

AWell, all the high paying managerial positions will just start falling into my lap, right?@ He laughed. ASeriously, though, I don=t know. It=s two years away, right? Anything could happen. I mean, look at us. Proof that anything could happen. I just want to be the best I can be for whatever comes along.@

AThat=s a real good attitude. But even still, you know what you=re doing almost three years ahead. I have no idea what I=m doing after this. What=s a degree in Communications going to do?@

AAnything you want it to. If you think you have no options, that means anything is an option, right? Or am I just full of it?@

AI think you=re full of it. But I like you.@ That put the conversation into a comfortable silence until the waitress came to take their order.

AWould you do anything, though? As narrow as you=ve made your focus?@

AIt would depend. I know what I want to do, but that doesn’t=t mean that there isn=t something out there that I haven=t thought of yet. You see, my parents are kind of single-tracked. They see someone with a degree that they don=t use as being a waste. If I didn’t=t go on to grad school, it would be a waste of ability.@

AThat sounds oppressive.@


ANot really. They always let me and my brother do whatever we wanted, but we always knew what they thought of anything we did. I guess being the oldest more of their ideas rubbed off on me. I=m focused because of their values. They think the only way someone could be happy is if they=ve done everything they=re supposed to and everything they had the ability to do. If I were to drop everything right now and start working here, let=s say, full time with a decent salary they would still see it as a waste because I wasn=t using my degree or going on to bigger better things. Even if I was happy here. I think they=re just worried about me, more than anything. They have an idea of happiness and success and want to see me reach it. Like any parent.@

ABut is that the reason you went to college? The reason you=re going back?@

AI can=t say that they had nothing to do with it, but I like what I=m doing, and like the idea of what I could do. I guess that comes from them, but I picked my own field. My parents know nothing about park management. My mom=s a secretary and my dad=s a contractor.@

AMy parents aren’t=t like that at all. They want to me to find a good job and all that, but they could care less how I go about it. I=m on my own, so they don=t really say too much.@

AThey probably still worry, though. All parents too. Look at you now. Twenty three years old and overseas sleeping with some bloody American.@ He smiled.

AI suppose I should tell them about you sometime, right?@

Miles shrugged. AWhatever you think is best, love.@ She smiled. Food was brought out for them and there was a break in conversation as the two realized how hungry they really were. The wine lasted just long enough to help finish the meal and mixed beautifully inside them to keep the cold at bay as they drove home.

All the lights in the cabin were still out when they returned so they decided to be social and see what was happening in the lounge. Almost everyone was in the place and exuding an energy that hadn=t been seen in the last three days. Drinks were flowing and heated games of foosball and darts were in the works. Miles found their six pack of Harp=s in the fridge and gave on to Sophie

AHey, we went to that first place on the highway tonight for dinner,@ Miles told Paul, who was contending against Jenny at the foosball table. AIt was pretty good.@

AYeah, it looked real cozy. What you got going this weekend?@

AAbsolutely nothing.@


AOn purpose, hey? Sounds good. Some of us were talking about going to that little bar that=s up there tomorrow night, if you=d be interested. I think a lot of us are just chilling. Boston took a lot out of me, anyways. Then three fourteen hour days? Maybe in a day or two I=ll be more ambitious, but until then even the corner bar is a maybe.@ The last word was squeezed out as he blocked a rocket shot from Jenny.

AYeah, anything=s possible. I doubt we=ll want to sit around here for four days.@ It struck Miles as funny then how he had started saying >we= more than >I=. Such a quick transition. In thinking of his new significant other he decided to join her on the couch.

AI don=t think I needed this beer,@ she proclaimed, talking to the bottle in front of her.

AThen don=t think. Maybe I just want to get you drunk.@

AYou don=t need to get me drunk, Love.@ Sophie realized she had spoken a little too loudly when Emma and Sergio looked add them oddly. AYou see?@ She giggled and got over it. ADon=t look at me, you. Just drink your beer.@

There was a video playing on the tv but no one was watching it. In fact, the volume wasn=t even on so Miles leaned out to the table in front of the couch, found the remote, and turned everything off. Scott had his boom box playing in the corner on top of the stove and that was good enough.

AI think that nap did more harm than good,@ Miles commented aloud. AI=m wide awake, even after that dinner.@

AI know, I feel the same way. I=m sure we can find something to do.@

AI=m sure we can.@ He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. AThat=s better.@ She nodded.

AMiles! Sophie! Get off your damn bums and play foosball!@ Emma=s voice shook them aware. She was standing on one side of the table with Christopher glaring at them. AYou can=t just sit there starry eyed all night, you know. Bloody Shakespearian, you two.@ Miles and Sophie stood and faced their challengers.


AI don=t even know how to play this bloody game!@ Sophie cried, spinning her defense around.

AIt=s simple really. Keep this ball...@ Emma ceremoniously dropped what was basically a ping-pong ball on steroids, onto the middle of the table, AFrom going in your goal. It=s only football.@

ANo dear, it=s soccer. Football is completely different.@ Miles argued.

AOnly in this bloody country. What do you expect from the only twits who don=t use the metric system? I can=t ever tell what damn temperature it is here! They say thirty degrees and I=m ready to put on a tee! Damn backwards fools!@ She drove her point home with a quick goal on Sophie.

AHey! I=m on your side!@ Sophie yelled.

ANo you=re not! You=re on my team!@ Miles cried back.

AOh, you both know what I mean! Just don=t do that again, Emma!@ They played through and Emma and Christopher won without too much effort.

AWell, We=ve found another thing we=re not good at.@ Sophie harrumped. Miles got two more bottles out of the fridge and let her nurse her frustrations with one.

About half the people that had started out in the lounge that evening were gone. It was almost midnight by then and the latest any of them had made it in days. Paul and Jabari were still throwing darts and thinning a bottle of Jack while Emma, Christopher, and Jenny battled at the foosball table.

AI=m not really tired, but what do you think about getting out of here?@ Sophie asked. They were on the couch bantering with one another.

AScott and Kyra are probably at our place. I don=t think we should go back there right away. But where else?@


AWe could go to my place. Emma won=t be back for a while, I wager. And anyways, you can just sleep there if you want. We did all spend two nights in a hotel room together. I doubt one night of the three of us would do any harm. Besides. Maybe we=ll be asleep by the time she gets back.@ Miles shrugged and pulled her jacket out from under him.

ASo tell me,@ Sophie began, as they walked through the swirling night toward a bed. AWhat did you first think when you saw me?@

AWhy do girls always ask stuff like that?@ He cringed.

AJust answer the question.@

AWell, the first time I remember thinking on you was when I turned towards the coffee table in the dining hall. I wanted some tea, and I said >Ooh, the cute English girl is over there=.@

AThat=s it then?@

AYeah, that=s it. I didn’t=t compose a poem about you on the spot or pledge to make you mine or anything.@

AYou=re such a romantic. You thought I was the cute one!@ Sophie=s face squinted up with a smile in that girly way.

AI still do.@ Miles kissed her at the foot of the steps leading to her door.

AAre you coming in, Lover?@ He nodded and followed when she took his hand. ATea?@

Miles woke with the same feeling of elated ness he had felt every other morning he knew Sophie was beside him. He let his eyes wander over her body as she lay sleeping; curled towards him in the sheets. He swept her hair over her ear and woke her up. They were in her cabin, which Miles had taken a second to remember upon waking. Sophie smiled and closed her eyes again.

AWhat do you want?@ She sighed.

ANothing.@ He squirmed closer and Sophie let herself be enveloped.

AI thought you were going to make me breakfast.@ She chided.


AAll in good time, my love. It is very cold out there, you know.@ She shuddered and buried her head in the crook oh his arm. AAnd you know, Scott and Kyra are leaving today. They=ve probably left already. We could be complete hermits this weekend.@

AWhat are we doing here, then?@ She muttered. ALet=s get up. We can go back to sleep at your house. Should know better than staying up to all hours of the night like that. Circadian rhythm, you know.@ Miles shook his head and swung his feet to the floor. She followed suit and soon they were racing as fast as their sleep-addled limbs would carry them to Miles= cabin. True to their hope Scott and Kyra were nowhere to be seen.

AI could use a shower now. Need to warm up. Care to join me?@ Sophie let her camisole fall to the floor gracefully. Miles still couldn’t=t resist her accent.

AI=d hate to waste all that perfectly good hot water.@ He shed his pajamas as well and stepped inside the stall with her.

They were the only two in the lounge that morning. Sophie sat on the counter beside Miles, who was standing at the stove cooking bacon and eggs. It was almost eleven but they had the feeling no one else would be stirring until they slept off their fun from the past night or it warmed up a bit.

AI feel guilty ducking out on everyone this weekend.@ Sophie said. She was wearing Miles= slippers and they thumped rhythmically on the cupboard below her every time she swung her feet.

AWell, do you want to hang out with everybody or just one another this weekend?@ Miles was splitting his attention between Sophie and the pan in front of him.

AWe=ve never been really alone yet, and I think that=s important.@ She concluded. AAnd how often are we going to have a cabin to ourselves in this place? We=d have to pay for a room somewhere.@

AAnd we don=t even have to do anything. We could watch a few movies on my laptop, maybe play some cribbage or anything, really. Could go out tonight with the crew if you felt like it.@

AMaybe we should do that. Especially if we=re making ourselves scarce this weekend.@


ASure. Breakfast is served, love.@ He dished her a plate and held it out. She leaned forward to accept it but Miles pulled back at the last second and kissed her unsuspecting mouth. AMy fee,@ He snickered.

ACunning little boy, aren’t=t you?@ She took the plate and sat with him on the couch in front of a blank screen. They ate silently because that was just as comfortable as filling empty space with empty words as far as they were concerned. Miles quickly washed the dishes and they scampered back to his cabin.

Sophie clung to him with a shiver momentarily after the excursion. ABloody freezing!@ She yelped. Miles leaned behind himself and kicked the thermostat up a few degrees. AThank you.@ They stood together for a while longer letting the room warm them. Soon they were propped up on pillows watching >The Bourne Identity= on Miles= laptop through two mid-grade computer speakers. The whole contraption fit beautifully on the dresser at the end of the bed they were occupying.

AWhat do the English think of Hugh Grant?@ Miles asked suddenly, halfway through the movie. Sophie burst into laughter which she smothered in his ribs.

AWhere in the hell did that come from?@

AI don=t know. I was thinking of actors. Then I remembered Hugh Grant was English. So I thought I=d ask.@

AWell, a lot of women love him, but I find him a twit, to be truthful. Doesn’t=t come off as very intelligent if you ask me. But again...@ and she started laughing at this AI=m not the ambassador for England, you must remember.@

AFine, funny girl. I just thought I=d try to connect with your culture but I can see that=s all just a joke. I won=t bring it up again.@

AJust shut up. You=re cute, though, when you try to get a little attitude.@ She pressed onto him exorbitantly until he gave in.

AJust watch the movie.@ Sophie sighed and swooned over him obviously. Miles decided to let her. The movie finished without too much wavering on either of their parts as the thickening plot wrapped around them.


AI=m worried, Miles.@ Sophie finally said, after th credits were long past.

AWhat are you worried about?@

AI=m scared that six months from now I=ll look at you for the last time in my life.@ The words hung for a moment.

ASophie. Six months is a long time from now. I can=t tell you what will happen then any better than you could. But I can promise you that whatever happens, I love you.@

AThat=s... That=s the first time you=ve ever said that to me.@ Miles sighed with the realization that her question had plunged them deeper into the pool that was their circumstance. AI love you too, you know. I suppose I have for a while now.@

AI felt the beginnings of it the first time we really talked that night right here,@ he admitted. Sophie nodded. The person that wrapped her arms around his neck then was not a woman but a child. A child scared as any other looking to his strength to save her from the unknown. Miles comforted her as best he could even though he felt the same way. They watched the orange light peeking around the drawn shades casting a stifled light around the room. They stayed prone for quite some time, each in their own thoughts which were tied to one another.

AWell, whatever happens, happens. Right?@ She didn’t=t sound too sure of herself even as she uttered it.

ARight. We=ll just have to go with that.@ Miles hugged her briefly and broke away to the floor more to change the mood that their position. He opened the shades and let the probing orange light have free reign of the room. ASophie. Come here.@ She got up and strode to Miles, who stood in front of one of the windows looking out across the snowy trail to the opposite row of cabins. She stood in front of him and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

AI=m here, love.@ He kissed her temple and squeezed his arms together.


ASophie, we have to live every moment we have together aware of the fact that we only have so many moments. We couldn’t=t have any regrets at the end if we did it that way.@

ADon=t talk about the end, Miles. We=re only at the beginning. We=ve a lifetime ahead of us.@