Tea - 13

Chapter 13

“It came today, Sophie.” Miles had just walked in the door to his cabin after getting their mail from the office.”

“This makes it kind of official, then, hey?”
“It buys us some time.” He kissed her forehead before sitting beside her on the bed. Miles unceremoniously opened the manila envelope with his pocket knife.

“Kiss me first,” Sophie squeaked, stopping Miles’ hand from reaching into the envelope with her own. Miles looked at his beloved. “For good luck. Just do it.” He did, with no regrets.

“Shall we start this up?” Sophie nodded. The words spoken in the parking lot two afternoons before were still ringing in both of their ears and it was with sober deliberation that Miles pulled the sheets from their sheaf.

“This doesn’t look so bad.” Miles said, pulling out a three-ring binder to write on. He started filling out names, addresses, a social security number…There were no questions one of them didn’t know the answer to and in well under an hour they had finished the form. Miles sealed it in the return envelope and the deed was done.

“It is out of our hands, my love.”

“That’s a good feeling. We did well, you and me.”

“We did. What do you want to do now?” Sophie shrugged. “From the looks of some of those fees I shouldn’t be spending any money right now, so we might have to stay here.”

“Yeah. And, Miles, I want to help with that. I’m not letting you pay for everything. That marriage form is seven hundred dollars.”

“Don’t worry about it-“

“No, Miles, I’m serious. You never let me pay for anything and it makes me feel awful sometimes. I’m helping with this, ok?”

“Oh. Ok. I didn’t know you felt that way. Sorry. Yeah, you can help.”

“It’s ok, Miles. I know what you were trying to do.” She leaned over and kissed his temple. “But we are going to be sharing bills and everything else soon enough so we might as well start now.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. Smart boy.”

“Can we get out of here?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere that isn’t here.” Sophie looked at Miles quizzically. Neither of them had to work for four days; starting with a jobs shift on Thursday.

They went to the nearest Borders, about forty-five minutes away and spent nothing more than three dollars apiece for drinks to carry with them as they browsed. Both agreed on the way home that it was a nice way to spend a day off.

“Only two more days to go,” Miles commented.

“It’s going to seem like such a long time waiting for those forms to go through.”

“I know. And it’s going to be getting close to the wire when they do, even if it only takes a month.”

“Well, let’s see. We’d still have a month here if they came one month from now. Then three months after that. It’s not too close, but I’m glad we didn’t wait any longer.”

“You’re right, I’m rushing. I guess I’m just excited.”

“You just want to be nervous about something. You’re going to give yourself an ulcer if you keep worrying so much. Besides, if we can’t do things legally we’ll run away to South America or somewhere like that and open a hotel or something.”

“Look who’s got the romantic streak now,” Miles chided.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sophie rebuked. “Come on, let’s make some dinner.” Miles wrapped his arms around Sophie and squeezed her lovingly before they started for the lounge.

The weeks plodded relentlessly on and declared themselves May before anyone realized what had happened. May was the last full month of the season; there were six weeks of off-season programming left in total before the entire makeup of the camp changed for summer.

“We need to do one more grand thing before we split up,” Jabari said, leaning heavily on his arms against the kitchen counter in the lounge. It was the first Monday night in May. There had been no weekend group but there was a Jesuit school in for three days of low and high ropes. Gerry, Sergio, Christopher, and Paul were in charge of that group. Every one else was off. As a matter of fact, the change of groups had cut the hours the staff were used to by about ten hours a week. No one complained except when they saw skimpier paychecks.

“We’ve got a month,” Scott answered from one of the couches where he was sitting with Kyra and passively watching VH1: Behind the Music. “That’s enough time to plan anything. Where haven’t we been?”

Let’s see…Boston, New York, We haven’t been to Burlington. We haven’t been to Portland. That’s about it.”

“Burlington’s ok. I’ve never been to Portland. Never heard anything about it, really.” Scott said.

“Well, all I’m saying is let’s think about it.” Everyone present agreed to do just that.

Miles and Sophie were in a completely different world. They were three weeks into waiting for paperwork allowing Sophie to stay in America on engagement status. They were vaguely aware of the conversation taking place but in their minds the situation they shared had become so dire that it consumed every free moment they had and most of their working hours as well. If Miles had any fingernails left he would have been chewing on them feverishly as he stirred linguine on the stove. Sophie saw Miles’ stress reflected in his vigorous stirring and massaged his shoulder with her left hand while holding his right in hers.

“Hey,” Sophie whispered. “You’re getting stressed.” She moved her arms to cross his ribcage and squeezed gently. Miles realized it and tried to relax. He finished their dinner and they moved to the kitchen table, a wobbly and poorly manufactured number from Asia, to dine.

Sophie spent the meal staring at Miles reproachfully in an effort to calm him down. Since they had sent out the paperwork that would grant Sophie an American reprieve Miles had been edgier than an Arab shopping at a kosher deli. When they finished the two uttered a minimum of goodbyes and walked out into the night.

“I don’t like what this is doing to you, Miles.” They had walked past his cabin by then, heading down the road that would eventually lead them out of camp if they let it.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do, though. Nothing has at the same time mattered so much to me and been so close to disappearing on me than this. You. And I feel like there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Miles, there’s nothing else you can do about it. And I’ve promised you I would never leave you. You promised me the same, remember?”

“I know. But that seems too easy. Does it really come down to that? You and I?”

“That’s always been all that has mattered.”

“What about the worst-case scenario?”

“Worst-case scenario is we get married and dodge bullets the rest of our lives.”

“You say that now.”

“I say that, and if that’s what has to happen then I’ll take it. But that won’t happen. These systems are in place for people like us, Miles. A white American wants to marry a girl from England in Vermont? No one is going to have a problem with that, sweetheart. We’ve got everything going for us right now.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“I think I am. But, worst-case scenario, we still end up together, right?”

“Definitely.”

“Then let’s go to bed. I’m getting cold.”

“This seems kind of pointless now, but I really love you, Sophie.”

“Oh, Miles. That’s never pointless. I love you, too.” They stopped in the middle of the road leading out of Ontanogan and held one another for entirely too long before they began the walk back to staff row.

Sophie’s reassuring words could not keep Miles from sleeping fitfully that night. Every day that they sifted through the mail and found nothing from Vermont added to the hill of anxiety in Miles’ mind. He was comforted, and rather surprised, that instead of the waiting game causing a rift between him and Sophie the situation had drawn them closer together. Miles had not thought that to be possible. If anything, he had been preparing for emotions to flair up and stress to turn to turn into grief or anger.

Miles sighed when he remembered how simple the reason was for their shared determination. They had vowed to stay together. A part of it, especially in the beginning, was clichéd puppy-love and big dreams. That was still there, in a measured dose diluted with more matured feelings. They were going to stay together because they saw that it was the way things had to be. Miles did not delude himself with thoughts of not knowing who he was before Sophie came along, but he could not even get to the point of wanting to try to think about what life would be like without her after their short time together. Miles could no sooner leave Sophie than cut off his arm. Miles knew, however, that certain qualified individuals could cut off his arm for him. He hoped those Hippocratic individuals did not have relatives in Vermont bureaucracy.

Sophie was awake but trying hard not to be. She mumbled something incoherently and squeezed Miles’ arm with hers. Miles turned into Sophie and let the smell of her hair take over his thoughts to finally put him to sleep.

“How are you, sweetheart?” Sophie asked as soon as Miles woke up the next morning.

“I’m good.”

“You didn’t sleep well.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“I know there’s nothing I can do to help. I wish there was. Does… do you get stressed like this a lot?”

“I don’t know. Nothing this important has ever happened to me, let alone been so out of my hands.

“I just worry. You seem so calm about it, and then last night…even after you finally fell asleep you tossed and moaned all night.”

“I’m sorry if I worried you. I don’t know what else I can say that I haven’t said already.”

“It just makes me feel like you don’t believe me.”

“What do you mean?” They had been staring at one another, lying on their sides in bed, but Miles inched closer to her after he asked his question.

“I know that this will turn out alright. And by that I mean the two of us will end up together somehow. And you’ve told me over and over again that’s what matters most. I’ve told you the same. When you worry so much, it makes me feel like you don’t believe me, or don’t believe that I’ll stay with you no matter what.”

“Sophie, it’s not that at all. I trust in you completely. That’s what has gotten me this far. I feel…I feel like you shouldn’t have to go through this. You’re perfect, as far as I’m concerned, and you could have anything, anyone, you wanted with all this drama. You shouldn’t have to deal with all this shit just to be with me. And I know you will the same as I would, but it doesn’t make it right. I want you to have what you deserve, for being the sweet, beautiful person you are, but I can’t even make sure that the first hurdle we came to will be taken care of. I’m just scared…I’m just scared that I can’t give you everything you need. Let alone want or whatever.”

“Miles, that’s so sweet. And that’s why I’m with you most of all. Say you couldn’t do everything for me or give me everything I want, whether it’s this or something else that comes up. Miles, I know that whatever that situation may be, you would do everything you could for me, for us. I would rather be with somebody who gives so much of themselves to me that the thought of not being able to take care of something like this does this to you. Even thought I’ve told you not to do this to yourself. Miles, if I need you, you’re there for me one hundred percent, no questions asked. That’s what I need. You can’t measure that with things or accomplishments. Nobody who could lead me down a golden path to bliss with a wave of their hand could ever mean as much to me as someone who gives so much of themselves. That’s just what we do, Miles. We do everything that we can for one other and if we fall we know there’s nothing else we could give.”

“I guess…I guess I wasn’t brought up to think that way.”

“I know, hon. But that’s the way we both are. No one’s looking or the upper hand here,” she smiled lovingly. “Nobody’s looking to impress anyone or get anything out of this. We’re doing it for us. Just think of the two people in this bed as the only people that matter. No one outside of my family has loved me more than you do, Miles, but I know that if they disapproved of us that they didn’t care about me as much as I thought. Besides, you’re about to be my family. My most important family.”

“I feel the same way. I guess I just have to learn to ignore everyone else.”

“Exactly. The people in Vermont, dare I say your parents if they push you the way I think they push you, everyone.”

“You know, I should be upset with you for bringing my parents into this, but it wouldn’t do any good because I know you’re right, per usual. And you’re my family, too, now. You’re right about that as well.”

“You see, you bugger, just remember I’m always right and your life will be so much easier.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind.” They both laughed almost silently.

“I really want to go to England sometime. All of Europe, for that matter. But I feel weird not really knowing where you’re from, personally, I mean.”

“Well, once this whole thing blows over and we’ve planned the wedding, which we should do soon, by the way, we’ll figure out how to get over there. Although London’s not a terribly romantic spot for a honeymoon, compared to France and Italy and such.”

“You can be in charge of that bit. Just tell me where to be, when.”

“Deal. Let’s go have breakfast.” Miles agreed and they broke away from the bed.

After a breakfast of Special K and the last two peaches they had Miles and Sophie took advantage of their sole occupancy of the lounge by curling up on one of the couches to watch TV. They settled on a John Candy movie. They watched passively, enjoying being alone somewhere they normally expected no privacy more than they cared about the television had to offer.

“One day we won’t think anything of a morning like this,” Miles said, giving words to what they were both thinking.

“I can’t wait. I wonder what I’ll be doing then. You’ll be a park ranger or something.”

“Hopefully. You would be a good teacher. Or a social worker or something, with your degree. Maybe a kid counselor?

“I don’t want to think that far ahead. Besides, you’re supposed to be making enough money to support me, right?”

“Right, right. As long as we work here for the rest of our lives I think we’ve got that covered. But you’re going to have to claim something like pregnancy as job-related if you want to get it covered by Camp’s insurance.”

“Already thinking of that, are you?” Sophie was kidding Miles. They had talked about incidentals such as children before. They both wanted to have kids, but neither had set an ideal date yet. They both thought they were too young and fun to start having babies which seemed like trading spontaneity for responsibility.

“Just another Wednesday in Paradise,” Miles sighed to change the subject.

“The first Wednesday in May. We should be hearing about things in a week or so.” Miles agreed. “So, how do you want to get married?” Miles’ breath hitched at the change of subjects.

“Um, I don’t know. Neither of us are church people. I wouldn’t have a problem going to the nearest city hall. What kind of wedding do you want?”

“Well, in any other situation I would say a decadent one. But A: We don’t have that kind of money, B: We don’t have that kind of time, and C: People flying here from England would be much too expensive.”

“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” Miles chuckled.
“Of course I have. I’m the girl. And it’s the most fun thing to think about out of all this stuff.”

“I thought I would see bridal magazines strewn about when you began planning.”

“Again, my tastes are far too expensive for our means. I’ve been meaning to talk about that with you, actually. You’re going to have to take on a second job soon because I’m a princess. You said so yourself.” Sophie tried to look very serious but it was an utter failure. After a confectious bout of sweet talk and affections they settled down again.

“I keep forgetting that the English have no concept of sarcasm.”

“What about Absolutely Fabulous?”

“Always an exception, then, I suppose. You know, we have to apply for a marriage license. I suppose we should have done that as soon as we found out you can get married without being a citizen. I don’t think it takes as long to get one of those, though. I think it’s mostly so whoever needs to know knows we’ll be married.” Sophie agreed.

“Let’s do it later. I’m having too much fun being a normal couple right now.”

“Fair enough. What do you want to do today, normal girlfriend?”

“I don’t care. We’ve got a month left here. Let’s go for a drive to somewhere. Do you mind?”

“That sounds like a splendid idea.”

“Good. Let’s go now, then. I want to have one of those days where the only person I see that I know is you.” Miles smiled and scooped Sophie off the couch. They lit out of camp before anyone was the wiser.

“I am looking forward to the next step, though,” Sophie mused as Miles drove. “Where we have a place of our own and we can lounge about all day long by ourselves if we wanted to.”

“You say that now because we live with an extreme amount of people. And I doubt we would be going out as much as we do if we lived alone.”

“I do like going out with you. We have a lot of fun together, don’t we?”

“Sophie, I’ve never had as much fun with a girl as you.”

“It’s not as though we like too many of the same things. Maybe that’s what keeps it interesting.”

“Yeah. What would we have to say to one another if we both knew all the same things? That’s why I want to go to England with you. If we hadn’t met, who’s to say I would have ever gone overseas? And going with someone who knows what they’re doing will make it all the better.”

“I forgot about that. That’ll be so much fun.”

“We’ve got so many of those experiences ahead of us. Ontanogan was just the starting line.”

“That’s a good way to look at it. I have been really happy here, because of you, though. Never thought in a million years…”

“That’s always when it happens. But you know something? I’ve been stressed about a lot of the logistics of you being able to stay here, but I’ve never been apprehensive about our decisions to make this happen.”

“I haven’t either, come to think of it. I’d blame it on worrying about other things but I don’t think that’s the case.”

“I love you, Sophie.”

“Don’t get mushy on me, Miles. But I love you, too.” Sophie leaned over and kissed the side of Miles’ mouth.

“I could tell you that I’ve never been so sappy before, but doing something as crazy as this should be more than enough to convince you.”

“Crazy, huh?”

“Bloody insane. Insane.”

“At least you’re not trying to do an English accent anymore.”

They continued into the closest shopping plaza to spend an afternoon walking around Borders and spending too much money at fancy eateries.

“I think that we should make a point of doing things like this in the future,” Sophie said as they browsed racks at a Victoria’s Secret, “I don’t want things to get stale, you know? We don’t have to plan elaborate trips, but I really like going out with you like this, sharing things like shopping and errands and what not. And I don’t think it’s only because I always want to get out of camp.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Miles agreed, squeezing Sophie’s hand.

“What do you think about this?” Miles had to take his attention away from a mannequin wearing something he had only seen in the dirty magazines of his youth. Sophie was holding up a set of underwear for him.

“They match your cheeks when you get embarrassed.” Sophie smiled and her cheeks did their best impression of an iguana. She put the set over her other arm and they continued walking. A few more items graced Sophie’s left arm before she found a cashier. She handed the woman a club card, which Miles noticed vocally.

“What, do you think this is the first time I’ve been in this store? We have them in London, you know.”

“I know. But I like to think that you were a perfect angel before we met.”

Sophie finished paying and they started for the Jeep. “A perfect angel,” Sophie answered slyly once they were out of earshot of anyone, “Would have no idea what to do with your appetite.”

“Touché.”

Getting back to camp was not the greatest of feelings. They were both on a Thursday-Friday group which would put them at about twenty-six hours for the week if they did it right. A casualty of the end of the fiscal-year budget at the camp had been jobs days and extra people working a group to ease the stress of large numbers of people. The cuts were mostly detrimental to paychecks; enough to have some of the staff up in arms. Miles and Sophie saw it as more days to spend with one another. They felt the monetary squeeze as well but could not complain when everyone knew they would much rather have more time together than money in their pockets.

“We should work on eating the food we’ve been piling up,” Miles said, looking over their dry goods above the stove.

“Oh, that’s sad.” Sophie tip-toed beside him and grazed her eyes over the cupboard. “The beginning of the end.”

“For here, anyways.” Miles pulled out a box of linguine and a small jar of pesto.

“I think we have some chicken breasts left in the freezer,” Sophie said.

“See if that bag of pine nuts is still rolling around the middle drawer in the fridge, too.”